3 months and a day

June 23, 2006- Hard to believe it’s been three months since Ben’s heart stopped. In some ways it feels like a lifetime. The good news is Ben passed his stress test last week with flying colors which means we can wait till his head is better before they have to do the by-pass. I am relieved although I know we’ll have to face it in a couple of years or sooner. We are sending back the wheelchair and the walker- yippee! Now he will be able to start on the treadmill at physical therapy and soon he’ll be able to work out with me at he at the Y. We are going to yoga there a couple of times a week- sometimes it’s more challenging than others- mainly it’s a test of my maturity and I have to constantly contain myself from getting the giggles when I watch Ben try to attempt some of the moves. At physical therapy last week they gave him the balance test- the highest score is 56 and he scored 54, which is pretty impressive. The memory/attention part is coming much slower- he is still often confused. Like we went to Bill and Nancy’s for dinner earlier this week and he kept thinking he was still in the Army and he was concerned about going over to Iraq. We don’t have cable for the TV, which is a good thing- his head doesn’t need to be filled with scary images of war etc.
I can’t believe what a difference our COPES worker has made- just getting those couple of hours reprieve 5 times a week has made such a huge difference. It gets taxing to get asked the same questions over and over and over. It’s harder than dealing with a little kid because a little kid is much easier to distract. Ben is starting to get more frustrated with himself- which his therapists say is a sign that he’s getting more cognitively aware, but its hard when he puts himself down. I have to constantly help him reframe what he says about himself and put a positive spin on it.
It’s funny because Ben is now aware of all the unfinished projects around here- some of them have been unfinished for more than 20 years! He’s continually fussing about this or that, wondering why things like our light in the bathroom isn’t fixed. He wants to do stuff, and I have him working on smaller projects like today he just trimmed back a bush in our back yard. Yesterday he went on a vacuuming spree which I LOVE! He’s doing chores like taking out the garbage and putting away dishes- all helping to get his memory back. It’s a bit upsetting when members of the medical profession tell him he’ll never be the same- his therapist made him cry yesterday. I keep telling him he’s going to get back- maybe even better than he was before- but it’s going to take time and lots of hard work. That’s what he’s doing right now- working on his homework. That’s all for now. Love, B
PS I forgot to post the one below.

June 14, 2006- When I woke up this morning feeling sick, Ben said he would summon one of our doctors. When I told him this was 2006 and doctors don’t make house calls he said, “Oh no, we’ve got a whole team of doctors on call 24 hours a day.” I asked him if they were my doctors or his doctors, he assured me that they were my doctors, after all I was the one who was sick, he wasn’t, never has been and never will be. When I said I was going to run down stairs for something to drink, Ben said, “Oh no, I’ll just push the button over there.” He pointed to the dimmer switch in our bedroom. “Someone will bring it.” I asked, “Who?” “One of our servants of course.” Of course, how silly of me. Later on this morning after we were talking about our friend Charlie Williams running for judge, Ben was convinced that he was running for County Commissioner. When I told him that his brother Mark was the one who was running for County Commissioner, Ben said he didn’t want to run against his brother. I told him Mark was running in Lewis County, not Thurston. Ben was relieved. He said, “Just about everyone in our family has been in politics.” Besides his uncle Hank who was County Commissioner here for 28 years and Ben’s cousin John who was County Commissioner in Mason County, I don’t know of any others.